woensdag, september 20, 2006

And as I sit down in front of my laptop on the desk beside the bed in the apartment i've come to call "my home", one night away from flying back to singapore, i fight to find the words to describe precisely just how i'm feeling.

These 10 weeks have indeed whizzed by me in the blink of an eye. However, in retrospect, there were definitely times when i felt like time slowed to a caterpillar's pace; in lectures, when the nightfalls too early, on the train from the city home.

And then there are times when it seemed like time waited for no woman, especially so when i'm shopping and the shop closes at 5pm.

But i would have never thought that i'd be fitting in not only nicely, but i would say fabulously. Truth is, i love my life here. Shit, i never realized it until i read it out loud. Yes, the sheltered spoil brat has been washing her own clothes, sweeping her own floor, vacuuming her own carpet, washing the dishes. And what's harder to believe is that she absolutely adores it.

And then i realized what made it all possible is the people that kept me going. My mom, my dad, my family.. But most importantly, non-geographically speaking, it was the people HERE that pulled me through what i can only describe as the most challenging part of my life.

Although i met alot of new people, it was the one i met 14 years ago that made this chapter so much more bearable.

And it made me wonder how did i managed to survive the O and A levels without you? How the hell did i get by these 4 years without your constant companion? Who did i turn to when i was feeling down?

I think many of you know who i'm talking about.

The one who was in the same class as me for 8 consecutive years.
The one who would obligingly wait an hour for me to finish school everyday for 2 years.
The one whom i never needed any conversation or smalltalk to fill in the silence.
The only one whom i laughed with until my eyes tear, stomach ache, cheeks raw.

I had thought these 4 years would have dragged us too far apart to ever be close again. I know you've changed; you keep insisting you did. I think i did too. But to me, you're still the same girl i knew back in k2. Maybe that girl's grown a little blonder, a little stronger, a little more resilient. But deep inside, that heart's still the same heart capable of so much love, so much warmth, so much laughter.

Even though i met someone with, ironically, the same name as you back in jc, she never came as close as to how we were. And all these years apart made me cherish you even more now.

It's just the primary school camaraderie that no one will ever understand.

OKOKOKOKOKOK KIM
You'll only be gone for 2 weeks!!! stop being so mushy.

Mel and milo. I could never be half as happy as i am now if it weren't for the both of you. Like what they say, ai wu ji wu. if vanessa adores you, i adore you too. ALOT. :))

And Aunty Eunice Ahhh, can you imagine if i hadn't decide to shit first before going to school on that day i met you? If i hadn't shit, i wouldn't be late for lecture. If i weren't late for lecture, i wouldnt have no place to sit but that empty sit beside you.

And if the cosmic stars weren't shining on us that day, i wouldnt be staring at my wallpaper that has our photo that we both loved so much.

I love you bitches.

i think its 12:06 a.m. now

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