dinsdag, juli 15, 2008

The feeling is back.


For the past 3 weeks, i have taken him for granted.
Shouting debacles, hurling random heavy things at him,
treating him coldly, clubbing all i want without spending much time together.

I have placed my other non-scholarly pursuits well and above him,
meeting up with all my friends while oblivious to how he feels..
Worst of all, i sulked and showcased my infamous black face in front of his parents.

Him from work: (after spending the night at my place with only 3 hours of sleep without bathing) I'm hungry, i'm dirty, i'm tired, and most of all i'm hurt. What more could you want from me?"


And it was raining that day and i made him wake up at 545am to take the bus to work.
His socks were soaked through.

I know god sees all of this and thinks that i'm a bloody fucking bitch.

Of course, god don't mean that literally. Probably would say that i have sinned, need to repent, confess to a priest..




But right now, the feeling is back.


Feeling as in feeling i had back in February , just after spending all 3.5 months with him,
just before i left for melbourne..

That helpless, almost futile sense of watching the time pass us by..

I made a mental vow to myself to never feel that way again.

Now i have asked for it.

And i know the exact solution for it.

If only i were living alone.....

i think its 2:16 a.m. now

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